The last two years have tested many of us in profound ways – while some experienced financial hardship, isolation, or the loss of loved ones due to the pandemic, others watched on as painful issues dominated news headlines, bringing us closer together, or – for some – dividing us even further. It has been, in one word, overwhelming. This might be why we continue to see mental health declines in the US, including the increase of suicidal ideation amongst adolescents and adults. From 2020 to 2021, the numbers have increased by 664,000 more adults who consider suicide as a solution to their seemingly overwhelming circumstances.
What this means is that now more than ever, there is a need for mental health – and the value of everyday counseling, in addition to crisis counseling – to be a prioritized holistic health conversation. Looking ahead to 2022, we might see this manifest as counseling appointments being treated like regular health routines, on par with going to the dentist, the gym, or to church/spiritual groups. As mental health continues to be destigmatized, counseling can be used proactively to help plan for milestone events and personal goals, rather than to merely treat symptoms of stress, anxiety, or depression as they arise.
This will not happen overnight. But as we head into the new year, we will see a continued shift toward an early intervention and wellness approach to mental health. Here are a few scenarios – across different stages of life – when you might want to consider consulting with a counselor:
1. If you are an adolescent (or parent of one) who is experiencing bullying: :
In 2019 alone, 22% of students age 12-18 experienced bullying nationwide. If that number seems low, consider that 22% means one in five students reported being bullied, which can cause depression and anxiety, change eating and sleeping patterns, take away joy that is found previously in healthy activities, rob victims of success in school, and even cause significant health issues. In extreme circumstances, bullying can lead to self-harm, suicide, and retaliation.
With counseling intervention, adolescents who are targeted by bullying can find research-based support and gain tools for handling bullies in their lives. And if you are a parent of a student exhibiting bullying behavior, counseling can address the triggers and underlying motivators that will allow your student to thrive instead of lashing out. For more information about the link between bullying and suicide, the CDC has published a web resource, “The Relationship between Bullying and Suicide”
2. If you are preparing to be married:
It’s not all fun and games – when preparing to get married, it’s important to learn from a wealth of research in pre-marriage counseling. The Gottman Institute, widely recognized as the leaders in marriage research, has studied over 3,000 couples for a period of 20 years. They have found that the average couple waits at least six years[RF3] before seeking marriage counseling. The success rate for second, third, and additional marriages decreases significantly with each experience, signaling unresolved challenges that perpetuate into the subsequent marriages. For those who do remain together in their first marriage, there is a range of approximately 18-40 percent of those marriages that are unhappy at any given time.
Now for some encouraging news! With premarital counseling, 31% of couples are less likely to get divorced. Of those who receive pre-marital counseling, they report a 30% increase in marital happiness. And as for those wise souls who partner with a counselor…counseling over time, instead of counseling only during severe distress or crisis, is the best way to proactively invest in a successful marriage relationship.
3. If you or your partner are expecting to raise a child:
You have a WONDERFUL journey ahead of you, rife with personal growth, newfound purpose -as well as hardship and unimaginable challenges. Something to consider (from someone who has been in your position): The Gottman Institute found that 67% of couples found a significant drop in satisfaction in their relationship in the first three years of a baby’s life.
Beyond the effects of parenthood on a relationship, we go into parenthood with hopes and dreams for our children. Counseling for parenting is a wonderful resource for understanding stages of development, attachment, and other well researched factors that can significantly increase a child’s and family’s successful experience for all the years and generations to come.
4. If you are a caretaker or a dependent:
You are certainly in good company. With our lifespans increasing, the challenge to be a caregiver for parents or other elderly relatives can lead to caregiver burnout. Counseling can help you recognize caregiver fatigue and both strategize and develop self-care routines and self-compassion that are necessary to thrive during these years. The airplane analogy of providing oxygen to first yourself and then your dependent is key in this discussion. You can only give away what you first have for yourself. And if you are a dependent, you also can greatly benefit from consulting a counselor for living your best life.
At Fuller Life Counseling, this is what I specialize in…walking alongside our clients on the path to discovering their best lives. I have spent many hundreds of hours, if not more, walking the hiking trails of the Blue Ridge mountains in North Carolina, to process God’s plan for this work in my life. It is my vision in 2022 to join our clients on their paths, and to be “hiking partners” on their journeys throughout their lives. Every story deserves that support work to develop the full plot- your masterpiece, your unique God designed purposes. May 2022 be the year you partner with a counselor who can help you reach your goals for your best life ahead!
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